A Distant Happiness
by Krazie4Christ
Summary: Heartbreak, betrayal, sorrow, and tears are all Ann can see. How will she move on from the worst kind of heartbreak she can fathrom? Can she love another? Will she? Just taking this one chapter at a time.
1. The Thickest of Sorrow

Slowly, sadly I stroll the brick-laden streets of Mineral Town, in a state of sorrow so thick that I've completely lost all senses of organization, direction, or any kind of orientation. Frail snowflakes float around me. I'm cold.

Cold and very much alone.

_I need to get home…I just need to get home…_

I am lost in the town I grew up in. I know these streets like I know myself, but I just can't find my way.

My long red braid sways behind me, and in my sudden anger I want to chop it off. I want to rip of the straps of my overalls, tear my boyish undershirt away, and lie here naked in the snow. I want him to see what he has done to me.

_Ann!_ I shout to myself inside my head. I have to get a hold of myself. I'm smarter, stronger, better than this…I am Ann, and I don't take crap like this from people, especially men! People don't mess with me!

But I've been wounded. With each slow throb of my pathetic, aching heart comes another blow of pain. I feel thirsty, but I want nothing to drink, hungry, but I cannot eat, tired, but I could never bring myself to sleep.

I stop walking and stand in the middle of Rose Square alone. Suddenly I am trembling. I realize I have left my coat at his house.

My coat is at his house.

Well, he can just keep it. Maybe it will remind him…maybe it will make him realize everyday when he looks up at it that…that…

Oh, so badly I want to hate him!

With quaking hands I reach up to touch my forehead. I massage it roughly, pressing my skin as hard as I can and churning it in ragged circles. My ponytail feels too tight, and with frustration I tear out the stupid white ribbon and angrily pull out the rubber band, running unsteady fingers through the braid to unravel it. My scalp aches as I force my hair to part in the middle.

I am haggard and angry. I feel like all purpose for my life has been stripped away.

I stand alone, cold, and wounded in Rose Square.

Finally my legs give out, and I predictably fall to the ground. I sink a few inches into the thick, wet snow. In a stupor, I lie and wait for my body to numb in the cold. I am not thinking, but I guess I just figure my soul will somehow numb, too.

I am periodically switching between extreme anger and extreme sorrow, and suddenly wish it wasn't so. I don't want to be like this. I am Ann, and I am too good for this. As I lie here without purpose in the snow, I face the biggest decision I'll ever make in my life.

Am I going to remain lying here or am I going to stand?

Insignificant the decision may seem to the unknowing eye, but it is this seemingly simple question that ultimately decides my fate. Though the choice seems quite plain, it stands in my mind as the single most complex decision I will ever face. Gradually regaining my composure, I consider my options.

Simply put, lying in the snow equals death. My life officially ends, even if I am rescued by some well-meaning villager. That would only be bodily life. The life of my heart, the life of my soul, would be over. I would die, sadly, tragically, and with pain.

I think about standing up. I don't know if I would be able to muster up that much strength. I am wounded. The blows of pain are still coming, constant, steady, certain, with every throb of my ever-aching heart.

Shivering, I realize that my fingers could fall right off and I wouldn't know. I am completely numb, and though I am no longer cold, I am still alone.

I am Ann, and this is nonsense. I am standing, and that's final. I will live my life, and I will get through this. There's got to be a happy ending somewhere.

Happiness seems so far away, and as I try to remember a time of happiness, nothing comes to mind. My heart simply cannot digest the idea of joy.

Then is life truly worth living? Am I really better off standing? If I stand, will I ever be happy?

I am beginning to think it might be better to lie in the snow after all.

"Ann?" A masculine voice is echoing around me, but I can't decipher exactly where it's coming from. Is it my father? I don't know. My head is swimming, and I am again utterly disoriented.

Where am I again? I cannot remember what's going on, and I don't care to. All I know is that my body is aching with every slow, shaky throb of my sorrowful heart.

"Ann! Ann, what are you doing? **ANN!**" The voice is really loud, and I close my eyes tightly as though I can dull the noise. I do not know that I am lying prostrate on my back, vulnerably sunken in the wet, freezing snow, arms outstretched, fiery red hair sprawling all around me. I do not even know who I am at the moment.

Suddenly everything goes deathly black, but I can't really tell the difference anyway.

I am lying in a wide space. All around me is light, sunshine. I open my eyes to face a perfect baby blue sky, dotted with breezy white clouds and lit with the brilliance of the sun. I feel grass beneath me and slowly run my hand over the even blades. A feeling of bliss invades my senses. I am overcome with beauty.

Sitting up, I look down at myself and realize that I am gorgeous. Dressed in a long, pretty white skirt that falls around my toes and an off-the-shoulder brown top with a black halter underneath. My feet are bare, and I feel free. With a forgetful smile I finger my hair, which falls down my back in huge, soft red curls. Silver hoops adorn my ears, and I notice a playful ring on my long toe. I feel drop-dead beautiful.

In awe, I wonder where I could be. I remember the sadness from what seemed moments before but cannot comprehend it in the midst of such splendor. Instead I'm feeling rather gleeful and unwilling to recall such a sorrowful memory.

Except…I am still alone…

I stand to my feet and begin to walk. All that is in my vision is abounding grassy hills, sunshine, and blue skies. Not a flower, nor any kind of animal, just…rolling hills of grass as far as the eye can see. It is by far, doubtlessly, the most beautiful thing my eyes have yet come upon.

Except I am alone.

Though the fact gets me to wondering, I refuse to let it hinder the uprising of joy within me. I walked slowly, dreamily, my arms swaying wistfully, my hair blowing slightly to my left shoulder in the gentle breeze. The grass feels pleasant on my bare toes. I inhale the air blissfully. Overwhelmed with happiness, I hope I never have to leave this place. I choose not to ponder where I may be, for fear of wasting away the time. I do not know how long I will be permitted to remain. I close my eyes and use my other senses to firmly inscribe this moment in my memory.

When I open them, I am somewhat unpleasantly startled to discover that am standing face to face with no other person than the man I wish I could forget.

As always, the first thing I notice are his eyes, those gorgeous, dark green, moist, glimmering, infatuating eyes. His brows are uplifted in an expression that spells apology. His lips are pressed gently together, accentuated by his adorable, slight dimples. His forehead is shadowed only a little by the shaggy brown hair that protrudes untidily from his boyish blue ball cap. Running my eyes over him, I take in his slender shoulders, clothed in a striped, long-sleeved cotton button down, which hangs open upon his chest to reveal a simple beater shirt, his worn, wispy jeans, and his bare feet.

He only adds to the beauty of this place.

Cocking my head to the side a little, I think in silence about him. I suppose that he may only be adorable to me because I know the man inside of his thin, boyish body. The man inside is thoughtful. He remembers things about you and mentions them continually, causing this wonderful loved feeling inside your heart. He is funny, constantly smiling, laughing, seeking fun. He is loving, caring, and builds friendships with nearly everyone he meets.

And for a time…it seemed he loved me.

"Ann." My name on his lips, to me, is like a wonder of God.

That is all that is said for what seems an eternity. I am, however, content to simply look intently into those marvelous green eyes…

The boy steps closer. I inch forward nervously, though I am not sure why. Things between us will never advance. A tear comes to my reluctant eye as I remember that we will never be more than friends. As it falls down my cheek, I reach up to wipe it away with my thumb, but he beats me to it. Before I fully know what is happening, his vaguely calloused hand is gently stroking my face.

"Ann," he repeats, and I look to the sky, expecting to see some form of God descending from the clouds. I can see in those gorgeous eyes that he is at a loss for words, and I cannot blame him, for I also do not know what to say.

He inches forward visibly and very ungracefully…But his boyish clumsiness is one of the things I most love about him. I know what he is preparing to do, and in spite of my reputation as a bossy, stubborn country girl, I do not have the will-power to fight it. I am weak and utterly hopeless as far as any form of romance is concerned.

I bend under the spell of his charm, which I feel I alone can sense, and allow his lips to press quite firmly against my own. His hand has not left my face, and I do not intend for it to, so with my right hand I ensure the immovability of his precious touch as I return his kiss. I feel as though we have been lifted into the air, although the grass still tickles the soles of my feet.

I've never kissed a man before, so it is surprising to me that this moment with Jack seems so natural, so easy, so smooth…like it's been in every dream that ever graced my slumber since the day I laid my eyes on him.

_Oh, crap. _ Suddenly I realize what's going on, where I am, what this is. _Crap, I'm in a dream! This is all a dream! I should have known that! I should have known that when he started kissing me! And now, when I wake up, I'll be sadder than ever…_


	2. Not Ready for Recollection

My sadder-than-ever comes sooner than I would have liked as a rough, masculine voice that can only be my father's echoes through my senses. "Ann," he murmurs softly. "Ann, please wake up. Please, Ann, just wake up."

Like a stubborn child I keep my eyes closed as though I am still asleep. I feel the paper-thin sheets beneath and upon me and know I am in the clinic. I am freezing cold and can't believe they haven't given me a heap of thick comforters to ease the sting. Doesn't anybody know anything?

Just as I am about to open my eyes and reveal my true awakened state so I can tell my father that I am freezing, I hear him moan and mumble something and decide I want to hear. I lie comfortably still and simply listen.

"Ann, I'm sorry. It should have been me who found you there. It should have been me. You told me you needed to talk this morning, and I told you to come in later this evening, when I wouldn't be so…so _busy!_" He spat the word like it was the spawn of all evil. Ax off my legs and call me Shorty if I don't hear him sob.

I do remember what he is referring to, though. Well, of course I do; it happened this morning. I came downstairs from my bedroom after a long, hot shower, my orange hair up in a towel atop my head, my body clothed only in a bathrobe. I had lost track of time in the shower and was alarmed to discover that the restaurant was open, and there were people sitting around at the tables eating their breakfast. They were not surprised, nor mindful at my seeming disregard for a presentable appearance, and neither was I, so I went about the task at hand. "Daddy," I said to my loveable old man behind the cash register.

He looked at me with an amused chuckle and a familiar glimmer in his eyes. "Good heavens, Ann. How long were you in the shower?"

I didn't laugh. I wasn't in the mood for laughing. "I just lost track of the time…Daddy, I need to talk to you."

The cheerful little bells above the front door jingled, and I looked over to see another villager, arriving promptly for his Saturday breakfast and coffee. I sighed. It was already clear what my father's response would be.

"I'm sorry, hon, you know how Saturdays are," he said, oblivious to my need for advice. "Maybe later this evening, after the dinner rush? People will be in all afternoon, you know."

"Yes, I know," I replied. Walking away, back up the stairs to my small, custom Inn bedroom, I mumbled, "I know all too well."

And now I'm here. Well, actually, there was a deal of happenings in between then and now, but I prefer not to recount them just now.

Or ever.

"Am I a terrible daddy, Ann?" my poor father asks my still form.

A full minute passes, in which my eyes tear up something considerable and it's all I can do to keep them closed. The ends of each of my boney phalanges are still numb, and the inside of my nose stings as I fight the waterworks. Finally, I murmur, quiet as a summer breeze, "No, Daddy. No."

I open my eyes gingerly, to see the softly sobbing figure of my red-headed father sit up in alarm. Most parents would leap from their seats and scream their child's name, bounding around the room in happiness or jumping atop their tender daughter's cold body to hug her tightly. But my father has never been like most parents. Instead he softly says, "I knew you would wake up soon enough. You've never been patient enough to fake sleep for that long."

I smile in spite of my pathetic self. "You know me all too well, Daddy," I whisper tenderly.

"Are you all right, hon?"

"I'm really cold."

"Well, I'd thought they were practically smothering you with all those blankets."

"What blankets?" I grumble peevishly, lifting my head up a few inches to look down. "Well, I'll be dad-gummed. How many are there?"

Daddy stands up from his seat in the folding chair next to my bed and adjusts them all to cover my shoulders. I can vaguely see an assortment of many different dull, wintery-gray wool blankets beneath my chin. "I think there's five. Sure you're not hot, hon?"

"Hot? I feel like my skin has a layer of frost laid all over it. I just need to get up." I used my arms to push the blankets down to my waist, then pulled out my feet and pushed them to the end of the bed. "Holy crap, Daddy, I'm naked! Turn around!" I shout loudly, then look to see he's already facing the other way.

"I know, hon," he says with a good, hearty laugh. "I told them they'd better just leave your clothes on…At least your underwear."

"No wonder I'm so cold," I gripe. "Don't you dare turn around, Daddy. Where did they put my clothes?"

It's understood that by they, we both mean the Doc and Nurse Elli. Daddy laughs a little more and then says, "They're outside on a clothesline for the whole world to see!"

I can't contain a smile. I don't know when my dad became such a funny man, but he's always been this way. No matter what, he's always been able to make me laugh. "Well, surely there's something else for me to wear! Don't tell me you haven't sent for anybody to bring me anything!"

"Oh, hon, haven't you heard that the village doesn't revolve around you?" Daddy chortles.

Smirking, I walk up behind him and practically tear off his long, tweed coat, quickly sticking my arms through the lengthy sleeves and securing it around my waist with the buttons and little ties. "See who's cold now!" I declare vengefully.

"Well, you've still got no socks or shoes!"

We hear the rattling of the curtain rings behind us and realize that Doc and Elli are coming in with another patient. It's little Stu, Elli's younger brother, and she's setting him down on the table at the other end of the small room. There seems to be a steady stream of blood rushing down his shin, from a great pool that's collecting on his knee. The poor boy is wailing something terrible, and Elli, the cool, calm, collected person she is, is whispering condolences to him.

My father and I watch the scene in silence.

Elli coolly tries to soothe Stu's out-of-control sobs. "Stu, honey, it's going to be all right. It will all stop hurting in just a second, okay? Shh…shh…" Her tender, gentle hands stroke his filthy mess of dark hair, massaging his ears, rubbing his neck, touching his cheeks.

The doctor, however, whips out the clipboard, jots down a few notes, tosses it aside, and gets down to the dirty work. Gently, he motions Elli out of the way and tells her to fetch him a something-or-another, then stands in front of Stu, facing the bloody knee fearlessly. "Stu," he begins. "I need you to stop crying. You know, everything always hurts worse when you cry?"

Stu shakes his poor little head, gasping and hiccupping for breath.

"Yeah." Doc keeps on talking as Elli hands him some white stuff and a tube of some kind of ointment or cream or something. As he starts wiping up the blood on the cut, ignoring the stuff that's trickling down to his sneaker, his words continue. "With every tear there's just another picture in your mind of how terrible the pain is. That's why it's okay to cry every now and then…you know, one or two tears when you're really sad or really hurt…" He starts applying the gel-ish substance from the tube onto the small wound. "…But when you cry a whole lot, and there's a whole lot of tears, then…Well, then, you end up feeling a lot more hurts. If you keep at it at this rate, before you know it, your head will be hurting…then your finger…then your stomach…And it just keeps going. Unless you stop." As the doctor carefully applies the bandage to the now clean cut, he gives Stu an expectant look.

Stu looks down at his fixed knee. "Then I won't cry no more, Doc. I won't never cry again. Crying is for girls, anyway."

I think for a moment about what the man had just said…It makes sense. It's true. Sighing, I realize that I could have avoided this whole hospital business had I just gotten my sorry rump up out of the snow.

Doc smiles and tells Stu that he will be just fine and that he needs to keep the bandage on until he goes to bed, that Elli will have to put new one on for him then, and then again in the morning, until it's all cleaned up. He looks to Elli, who is visibly pleased with the way Doc handled the situation. "Would you wipe up the rest for me, Elli?" he asks her in a very gentlemanly way, looking in my direction for an instant with a small smile. "Still got another patient to tend to."

"Sure thing, Marc," she answers respectfully, but in a personally friendly way.

Doc walks over to Daddy and me with a smile. "I see you're feeling a bit better, Ann." He looks over my figure with a swift casting of his eyes.

Instinctively, I step back. I know this guy's a doctor and everything, but it's still kind of creepy when he scans me like that.

"Is it all right if I take her home?" Daddy asks him. "I mean, after we fetch her clothes and everything."

I slug him, embarrassed.

"Well, I was actually wondering if I could ask you a few questions." Doc looked serious all the sudden.

_He's going to want to know how I got in the snow in the first place._

"I was just wondering, Ann, exactly how you got all embedded in the snow that way?"

I consider telling him some story about how I was being chased by a dog and he took me down, or how I accidentally slipped and got stuck, or how somebody pushed me. I don't answer for a moment. I don't know what to say.

The doc is sort of staring me down, and I shrink before his dark black, knowing eyes. "Ann," he says quite sternly. "When Cliff brought you in…"

"Who?" I ask quickly. "You mean Cliff brought me in?"

"Yeah," Daddy said. "Forgot to tell you."

I cock my head to the side, remembering the voice I heard as I lay there in Rose Square. I guess it was Cliff's. Cliff is the young, shadowy sort of vagabond type guy who is staying at the Inn. He's been in Mineral Town since autumn of last year. I've talked with him a few times, but nothing serious. We just kind of hung out on rainy days and stuff like that. I don't even know the boy's middle name. We've never really gotten to know each other that well. "Oh," is my simple reply.

"Well, when Cliff brought you in," the doc continued, "he was really shaken up. He said you were just sprawled out…arms, legs, hair just all over the place. He seemed to think you were, um…that you may have been…"

"Trying to kill myself?"

"Ann!" Daddy practically shook me by the shoulders.

"Yeah, I'm over that," I say, realizing how immature I sound.

"Ann!" Daddy freaks.

"So that was the plan?" the doctor asks. I'm kind of weirded out by the fact that he's not surprised. "You were going to lie there until your body shut down from the intense temperature?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it the plan. It just sort of happened." I didn't see the point in telling him a lie. "I fell down and didn't know if I wanted to get up or not."

"I see." Doc twiddles his thumbs for a second and then furrows his dark brow a little bit. I don't know why he isn't taking some sort of notes. It just seems like that's the kind of thing a doctor would do. "Has anything happened lately to make you feel angry or upset or depressed?"

_Crap. _I think to myself. _He thinks I have depression._

Daddy looks at me, and I know he knows, even though I never told him.

A tear comes to my eye, but I remind myself of what Doc told Stu, and it vanishes. "Just a good old heartbreak, Doc. Nothin' I can't handle."

"Okay, then." Doctor Matthis scratches his head, and I can tell by his body language that he is done. "You can come talk with me if you ever need to. I'm licensed in psychiatry. Then again, Elli might be better at it than me."

The nurse, still standing in the back with Stu, looks up at us when she hears the mention of her name. Doc tosses a wink in her direction. I glance back and forth between them. Is there somethin' going on here?

"I'll get your clothes, Ann," Elli says sweetly, giving me a smile. "We don't want your dad to freeze to death!"

Back home at the Inn, I am finally warm. I change clothes into some comfy navy blue track pants and an old, worn-in hoodie. Clothed in thick cotton socks, my toes are content at last as I bound down the stairs again. There's nothing to do down here today except talk to Daddy a bit, and maybe with a few of the customers. Today is my day off.

"Daddy?"

The mustached old man looks up at me from the burger he is grilled on the other side of the counter. "Yeah, hon?"

"Whose burger is that?"

Daddy didn't answer at first. Instead he flipped the patty on the sizzling grill and cleared his throat before looking back up into my eyes. "It's Jack's."


	3. And Yet Recalling Nonetheless

Screams echo inside my head. _He's here! He can't be here! I'm not ready for him to be here! He **can't **come here!_

"Hon, are you okay?" Daddy asks, but we both know I am not.

I was stupid for not looking around before I came down. I should have known he would show up…It's five o'clock in the evening on a Saturday. This is his hamburger night. _Goddess, I am so stupid!_

Casting a casual glance around the room, I see him sitting at a table near the far wall, on the right side of the building if you're coming in the entrance. He likes it over there because there's a window where you can look out at the garden across the pathway outside. Of course, now it's winter, and the garden looks like crap, but I guess the seat has grown on him.

Looking at him, I just can't help but recount the afternoon's events in my head.

After the disappointing conversation with Daddy, I trudged back up the stairs and got dressed for the day. I was going to Jack's and knew it, but I didn't take special care in dressing up. Just my old, worn-out overalls, my clunky snow boots, an ugly orange undershirt, a girly white ribbon in my ponytail, and my big, black winter coat. Jack never cared how messy I looked. We always had fun together.

But today would be different, and I knew that full well. Jack was falling in love, and not with me.

I didn't like that, and never will. My intention was to march over there and give him all the million-gazillion reasons why he should love _me._ I was going to tell him how it was. I was going to show him how I felt. I was going to reveal my deepest secrets, all to steal his heart away just in the knick of time. _I _was going to save the day.

So in the gently falling snow I walked to the Pearl Farm, arms crossed, head high, eyes set. Determined, I rapped on the front door to his lovely little farmhouse until he came to answer. Of course, the gorgeous green eyes threw me off course temporarily. I smiled at him sweetly, though that had not been my intention. He returned the friendly gesture with an affectionate hug. I discarded my jacket and tossed it over the back of the couch.

No! I told myself. No nonsense. He was not going to get past me. "Jack," I said to him, my voice firm.

He was only momentarily startled by my sudden harshness and invited me in. "What's up? I just finished my chores and was fixin' to go out to town."

I walked in the door and turned back to face him as he closed it behind me. "Can it wait?"

"Yeah, of course."

_Don't let him sweet talk you,_ I said to myself. "I have to talk to you."

"Sure, what's up?" He motioned for me to sit down on the couch, and pridefully, I declined with a quick shake of my head.

"It's kind of about, um…it's about how, you um…how you are…" _Stop stuttering! Why are you nervous? It's okay! Just tell him how it is. You're good at this, Ann._ "It's about this whole thing with Karen."

Jack's head flailed back as he sighed a little. "I had a feeling you would – "

"Jack, could you just shut up for a second?" I snapped. I hate being interrupted.

His head returned to its normal position and he nodded, though I noticed a momentary flame of anger in his eyes.

_Don't let it get in your way. Think of how many times _he_ has made _you_ angry._ "Why didn't I hear about it from _you_?" I asked him firmly. "Why did I have to hear about it from Manna and the gossip gang?" I paused, like I was going to let him answer, just so I could interrupt him when he began. "I've been thinking this whole time that we were friends, Jack! Aren't friends supposed to tell each other stuff? Especially big stuff like…like, I don't know…maybe, 'I'm falling in love with Karen! Yeah, we've actually been seeing each other for a while now, guess it just slipped my mind and I completely _forgot to tell you!_'…"

"Ann!" Jack's beautiful green eyes were dark with anger.

"**WHAT?**" was my angry response. The tears began to collect in the corners of my eyes, and my face scrunched up in an effort to keep them in.

I could see in his eyes that my tears were a hindrance to him, that he didn't want to see me cry. But he continued. "Isn't Karen your friend, too? Why aren't you at her place right now, screaming at her, accusing her?"

"Because I don't love Karen!" The answer came too quickly, and I wished I could eat it back up. I had intended on confessing my feelings for him, but not like this!

He recoiled, taking in my words. "Ann, I…" It was obvious he had no idea what he was going to say, so why was he even trying? "I didn't know…that you…"

I almost marched out the door with an over-the-shoulder, "Just forget it!" but refrained. It wasn't going to end like this. It _wasn't_ going to end like this.

"Stop, Jack, just stop." I forced the tears away. "I don't want to hear you just talk, try to cover your tracks. I don't want a pity party. I don't want to be the fool in love. I want to hear exactly what is going through your head right now. Don't just talk. Tell. Tell me the truth, Jack: what is this? Do you really love her?"

He didn't speak, not for what seemed an entire minute. Finally, he said, "Ann, I don't know how to tell you this…"

"Just **_tell me_**, Jack! I don't need talk! I need to hear _you!_"

"Fine!" He was mad now. "Me and Karen are together! We've been together for a while!"

"How long!"

"Since summer!"

"Why didn't you tell me!"

"'Cause we weren't telling anybody! We didn't tell anybody at all until last week!"

Our voices were raised so loud, I remember being worried that the neighbors would come poking their noses in the windows.

I trembled with anger and disbelief. "Do you love her?"

"Yes!"

"How much?"

His hands whipped the air around him, his face red as he conjured up a reply. "A lot!"

"**_HOW MUCH, JACK?_**" I screamed.

"So much that I bought a blue feather yesterday!"

I stumbled backwards and let out a terrifying, ear-shattering scream. "**JACK, WHY ARE YOU SUCH AN IDIOT!" **

"Me, an idiot?"

"Yes, you! Are all men completely clueless, or is it just you, you big, ignorant jerk!"

"What the heck are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me, Jack…" I was too angry to cry, but the tears gathered nonetheless. My voice became soft and wispy. "Don't tell me that you didn't see the way I looked at you. You can't tell me you just didn't notice the way I held onto you when we hugged. You can't say the thought never occurred to you, Jack!"

"Ok, so I thought about it!"

"Well, what made you turn to Karen then? Huh? Answer me that, you smart-a -"

"Don't even think about it, Ann! You know calling me names is gonna get you nowhere."

"Answer the question!"

"Maybe it's 'cause of crap like this, Ann! Ever think of that? Of course you didn't, because in Ann World, you are always right! It's always somebody else at fault!"

"C'mon, Jack, we both _know_ that's not true!"

"Oh, really?"

"Well, in this particular case, it is! Tell me your reason, Jack! What's so great about Karen that you could blow me off like this?"

"Blow you off!"

"Answer the question, dang-it!"

He let out a huffy breath, then a nice long one.

"Do you even know?"

"Yes, I do, actually. I just don't think you want to hear it."

"I really don't, but I'm going to have to…I'm going to have to."

"Karen is…beautiful, and in more ways than one. She's smart, she's talented, she's witty, she's…"

"Freakin' gorgeous!" I blurted angrily.

"You are _right_ about that!" he said, and I knew it was only to spite me.

We stood in complete silence for a few moments. He was cooling down, and I was trying not to boil over. I looked into his eyes, and strangely, they soothed me. Calmly, I asked, "Have you kissed her?"

His lips pressed together in a straight line until he answered. "Yes."

Immediately, a million horrible images flooded my mind. I saw the two of them locking lips at the beach, on the docks, on the mountaintop, before a sunrise, by the lake, behind the apple tree, in his kitchen, in the general store, under a starry sky, on his sofa, or worse…on his bed.

Reluctantly I inquired, "Have you slep…have you had se…have you made l…have you slept with her?"

"Ann."

"Please just tell me," I pleaded tearfully, releasing a soft sort of sob.

"No, Ann. You know I don't do stuff like that."

"Well, I just thought you wouldn't be able to resist someone as b-b-b…beautiful as Karen." There was no harsh sting to my words. I was accepting the truth. Jack was in love with someone else. He was going to marry her. I was going to be alone, but he was going to be happy. Karen was going to be happy.

"Ann…" He stepped forward, and I stepped back in fear, cowering behind a blanket of tears on my cheeks. "Ann, it's ok…"

I bent under the spell of his voice and buried myself in his chest. His arms wrapped around me warmly. I sobbed into his shirt, bitterly, pathetically, mournfully.

After a moment, I pulled away in spite of myself and hurried to the door without a word. I was gone in a flash, without my coat, freezing in the cold.


End file.
